Self-Love On Valentine’s Day.

Credit: Collective Evolution

The idea behind Valentine’s Day, a day to celebrate love, is actually really nice. Yet it seems like in modern day society it has just turned into a day for couples to throw their love in everybody’s faces all over social media, for brands and companies to sell specialised gifts, and for people who are single to feel especially bad about themselves. It really shouldn’t be that way, because couples who love each other should tell each other all the time and Valentine’s Day shouldn’t even be such a big deal. But it is hard not to feel lonely when all you have thrust upon you is other people professing their love for one another and talking about romantic getaways, and it doesn’t help when you’re binge-watching TV and all the adverts are about buying something special for the Valentine that you do not have.

This year I am just hanging out with my friends and ordering a pizza (coincidentally the most romantic thing I’ve ever done on Valentine’s Day was attempt to make a pizza in the shape of a heart which ended up looking more like a blob, because I truly associate pizza and love). Because if Valentine’s Day is all about showing your love for someone, why can’t that someone be your friends or family or (most importantly) yourself?

If you’re super in love with your friends and hang out with them all the time and they’re basically like your significant other then why not spend Valentine’s Day with them? You can still literally ‘Netflix and chill’ the night away, order your favourite food, drink wine and talk about how much you love each other. If you’re really dedicated to the Friend-Valentine’s idea you could even get each other cards and little gifts, or buy a bunch of heart shaped chocolates and devour them together. You can even go out to a restaurant and have dinner, or plan another fun date activity – you can have just as much fun and maybe even more doing these things in a friendship group!

A day to express all kinds of love is also a wonderful time to show yourself some love. Instead of wishing that you had somebody to buy you something special, why not think of what you’d want to receive from someone else and buy it for yourself? It might not be exactly the same but having something that you want is always going to make you happy. You can make your favourite food, buy a yummy dessert, watch your favourite film and have a pamper day and treat yourself to all your favourite things. This is also the time to throw some compliments at yourself and remind yourself that you’re a fabulous person and that not having a significant other does not define your self-worth and won’t seem like such a big deal once this day is over. Remind yourself of all the things that are actually amazing about your life and that you are grateful for, because having a significant other isn’t the only thing that’s going to fulfil your life. Love comes in lots of forms, so not having a partner does not mean you are unloved – your friends, family and yourself all love you loads and that’s just as important!

If you know it’s going to make you feel bad, maybe avoid all social media for that day – I know it’s hard to resists the temptation and switch it off, but it’s good to avoid anything that will make you feel negative about yourself.  Instead make sure you use up all that social media stalking on a different day.

Words by Ally Mclaren


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